Mea Culpa!

 ♪♫♪  Must the show go on?  ♪♫♪ 

(Pink Floyd - The Wall, image taken from web)

Among other weaknesses, we humans are born with a huge tendency to make terrible mistakes, inflicting pain on ourselves, and illogically pinning it on external sources. It is okay to make mistakes, we are all but humans, however it is the unwisely repetition in these mistakes that result in the pit of misery we dig for ourselves. None has the power to bring harm to us, unless we give them a free reign to rule our world. We are our own worst enemies! Yes, more often than not, this suffocating web turns out to be a design of our own making, as instead of taking charge, we allow the external sources to influence us greatly under conflicting circumstances, surrounding ourselves with negative energy!

 ♪♫♪  There must be some mistake, 

I didn't mean to let them, 

Take away my soul.  ♪♫♪ 

Once we establish and accept this vital fact, it gives an edge to the brain to process the information and feelings in a different perspective and put the heart in place where it deserves to be for being the culprit. When it comes to emotions and feelings, this intimate relation between the mind and heart for calling the shots is at eternal war. The heart wants what the heart wants, despite the constant warnings of the brain and the insistence to take charge, and it’s the poor soul that gets caught in the crossfire. Ha ha!! Yes it’s funny when I say it like that, because essentially heart’s only function is to pump oxygenated blood throughout the body to keep us breathing to stay alive. But it is what it is! I blame it on the heart nonetheless.

 ♪♫♪  Am I too old is it too late?  ♪♫♪ 

Regardless the intensity of the damage, no soul is beyond healing. The first step is to acknowledge the pain and finding the root cause for any wound. It is a painful process to retrace the steps, one after the other, to collect the pieces of how, what, when and where, for all that caused the damage. The key is, to process this information from a third person’s perspective to put the pieces together in the puzzle. It takes a great deal of effort to step outside the emotional shell of false sense of protection, and then to cut the life source that feeds the problem and let it grow. But it is probably the only effective way to pull it all out from the roots. Yes there will be a huge empty hole left behind, but we do what we have to do!

 ♪♫♪  Where has the feeling gone?  

Will I remember the songs?  ♪♫♪ 

For the harmless remains and the empty hole, Time is the best healer. It is generally said, that we are the product of the choices we make, and the said choices in any context create this cycle of life based on our various experiences. We stumble, we fall but then we get up stronger! We learn from it, developing more life skills to put in practice for future. And life goes on … Yes, been there done that before as well, so why share it now? Because a New Year is around the corner, and it feels better to put it on record! Year 2016 draws to a close, a wrap-up is in order …

 ♪♫♪  The show must go on!  ♪♫♪ 

(The lyrics and the image in this article are from the album The Wall by Pink Floyd) 

Just Another Day!

It's been more than 24 hours and my brain has been stuck on one single thought …

Yesterday kicked off in a perfectly normal fashion - same routine, the usual chores, nothing out of the ordinary. An early start to the day, some morning chores, drive to work, a few phone calls, some paper work, exchange of pleasantries with peers, the daily grocery shopping on the way back home and evening tea with parents while having a little gup shup about the day.

Since there was no other plan for the evening, I called it a day and settled to relax in my room. I fired up my laptop as usual, put on some music, and checked whatsapp to catch up with friends.  I talked to my sister for a while, then joked around with a few buddies on chat, but then while having a meaningless chitchat with some friends in a group, one of my friends posted an image of a TV News channel that said,

“BREAKING NEWS: PIA ka Chitral sey Islamabad aaney wala tayyaara radar sey laa pata”
(Translation: PIA plane flying from Chitral to Islamabad goes off radar)

(image taken from the web)

What?? My brain was still in process to comprehend the message when barely a minute after, another friend posted that it was confirmed. The plane had crashed near Havelian! Soon the news was being shared in every group on whatsapp (and I am sure on fb as well, but I wasn’t logged on fb at the time), and I started receiving the information in bits and pieces.

- There were 47 passengers on that plane.
- The plane crashed due to some technical fault.
- It was pilot’s fault.
- The pilot was a hero as he saved the valley and managed to steer the plane towards the
mountains over a non-residential area.
- A friend’s friend was the pilot.
- There was a celebrity on that plane with his family.
- The plane toppled over many times before it finally hit the mountain.

Whether these facts were authentic or exaggerated; I neither cared nor bothered to log on to some news website and check them for myself! I could not follow the news! What does it matter how it happened and whose fault was it? They were all dead! And it was the most painful death imaginable! There would be no bodies to bury. There would be no goodbyes for them or their loved ones. I felt numb! I kept staring at the cellphone screen and my mind got stuck on just one thought …

“What do you do when you know you have more or less 15 minutes of life left?  

I wanted to share words of comfort with the friend who lost a friend, I also wanted to share with my friends how I felt at the moment, post a few words to pray for the departed souls, express sorrow, but I couldn’t write or say anything. That one thought kept repeating in my head over and over …

“What do you do when you see death right in the face and know for certain there is no escaping it!”

Fear! There must have been unimaginable fear! Prayers, for forgiveness or a miracle! Their whole lives must have flashed before them in a matter of minutes.  Thoughts about the loved ones – family or friends whom they were going to leave behind, and worse – the helplessness of the impossibility to try and save the family or dear ones who were going to die with them. Regrets – Things they did or didn’t do, things they could have done or planned differently. Mistakes made that had not been rectified. Because there was time!

There is so much in life that we take for granted! Blessings, People, and even Time itself, because we conveniently keep forgetting how absurdly fragile we humans are and our stay on earth is temporary. Nothing puts everything into perspective like a strong reminder of nothingness! I am sure in a few days this incident will also be just another memory like the many tragic incidents in the past, for life goes on, as it must! But now, when the reminder is fresh, maybe we ought to reassess our “Todays”, make amends for the time lost, do right by ourselves and others and change things for the better while we still can!

So what would you do when you know there is limited time left?  Do that now, because Tomorrow may Not be after all ... Just Another Day!

The End and The Beginning!

I sometimes find, and I am sure you know the feeling, that I simply have too many thoughts and memories crammed into my mind.... At these times... I use the Pensieve. One simply siphons the excess thoughts from one's mind, pours them into the basin, and examines them at one's leisure. ~ Albus Dumledore

I wish I had one such basin for real, to pour in all my memories, thoughts or ideas, but obviously, I am about as close to finding one as I'd ever be to find a secret passage to Narnia through my wardrobe or discover a hidden opening to get onto the platform 9 3/4. I mean, time turners that can simply take you back in time at will or stone basins that can carry your thoughts or diaries that would write you back like a pen pal don't exist for real, right? So what do we have for real? Blogs.

The idea of creating a blog has crossed my mind many times over the past, but every time I just told that little voice in my head to shut-up and quit even before starting, because I felt "writing" is not my thing. I most certainly do not have that fancy, literary writing style or expression that creates an impression or leaves an impact. So it never happened!

I do that often! I have always been a quitter. A brilliant idea, a difficult project, anything that requires too much effort, emotional investment, or some sort of expertise that I believe I lack, I quit! Even before starting or taking a chance at it, I just simply quit. So this time I thought how about I quit quitting!

There's always an end to the end and the beginning of a new beginning. Also, as the year draws to a close, it seems to be a perfect time to make an attempt at a fresh start. Try new things and take chances for why the hell not! So here I am, taking the first step towards quitting to quit by finally creating my blog, SkittLife. "Ze Neverland" my pensieve to be filled with Skittles of Life.